a "learning experience": trying to withdraw from medications

The last time I withdrew from the medications, I went off of 15 mg Abilify by decreasing to 10 mg, then going to one every other day, then stopping. It was over a month or two that I decreased. This was in September of 2006. I lasted until April of 2007, when I had a
psychotic break. This started with distrusting my husband. I began to have delusions and hallucinate constantly. I was involuntarily hospitalized. Eventually I was put on injections of Prolixin, 20 mg Abilify, and 5 mg Prolixin.

I think that I must have not been ready for the decrease, as I wasn't dealing with emotional issues and the precursors to a breakdown for me. Stress can cause me to get symptoms. I felt a great deal of stress suspecting my husband of infidelity and feeling that we weren't communicating well. I began to have an obsession. I also learned from this not to decrease the medicines too abruptly, which is why I'm decreasing them more gradually this time. I further learned that symptoms can appear long after the medication has been discontinued. I will have to be vigilant for a period of years after I discontinue medications in the future.

"harm reduction guide"

I found a great guide to withdrawing from psychiatric medications. It is from Freedom Center and The Icarus Project. It has details regarding nearly every ascpect of psychiatric drugs and what coming off of them can do to you. I hope you find it useful. You can download it from here:

Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Medications

my definition of recovery; emotional recovery

I continued meditation, 17 minutes twice a day, affirmations, 3 times a day, and gratitude list before bed. I was told by two people from the Withdrawal and Recovery group that I am
withdrawing from the Abilify too quickly. 5-10% reductions are recommended there. I am
reducing by 33%. So, I am a bit confused as to what to do. For now, I'm keeping with my original plan. I am, however, considering these smaller reductions.
I found this definition of "recovery" at the Abilify website: definition of recovery for schizophrenics.
While I have no problem with people who use this definition for themselves, and know that there are many, this is not what I mean when I say recovery. What I mean is what is defined there as a "full" recovery. Recovery for me will include no medications. So, right now, I'm in the process of recovery. I don't consider myself recovered yet.
Meanwhile, I want to share an article: Drug Withdrawal and Emotional Recovery, by Dr. John Breeding. In it he discusses hope, courage, and self-affirmation as integral parts of the healing process.

Here is my progress this past week --

• medication: continued taking 10 mg. Abilify once a day in the mornings

• sleep: averaged 10 hours a night

• exercise: walked 6 days (one day was raining), lifted weights 3 days

• diet: ate 4 meals a day, usually. This is in accord with the Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle

e-book, which I have been following. It has a plan for goal setting, combining protein, carbs, and fat into 4-5 meals a day, and cardio and weight training. It is recommended that weight loss be kept at 1-2 lbs a week. I am trying to lose 20 lbs. (10 lbs by October 1). I gained 100 lbs on Zyprexa in 2000, then lost 40 lbs when I was put on Abilify in 2003.

• weight: 158.6 lbs

• mood: ok except one morning depressed. I realized that this was due anger at my ex-boyfriend, who I'd been trying to forgive. I immediately decided to express this anger inwardly, rather than keep turning it against myself. I chose not to forgive him at this point. He beat me up rather badly in 1987. There were a series of extremely violent incidents, including one which involved severe head trauma. (This may be part of the reason I was diagnosed "schizophrenic", not just the head trauma, but also the PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which lingered.)