suggestions for dealing with voices

Five different options for dealing with hearing 'voices':

What works best in coping with voices and other intrusive experiences?

I find myself fighting the 'voices' I hear. It helps to have heard that the hallucinations are memories. Sometimes, I remind myself that my brain is creating them from memory; this helps.
I would prefer to use a different method than fighting, but currently that is not possible.


This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10 hrs
• exercise: walking
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, ate four meals a day
• weight: 160 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

needing drugs for the rest of your life?

In her book review of Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker, Jenny Westberg sees that mental illness outcomes are made worse by long-term use of medicine. Further, the medicine is not needed for there rest of one's life. Symptoms after stopping the medicine can be the effects of withdrawal from the medicines themselves.

From "Book Review: Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker", by Jenny Westberg in Portland Mental Health Examiner:

"Study after study showed that outcomes for mental illness are worsened, not improved, by long-term, routine use of psychiatric medications. There was no good evidence showing that people with mental illness need drugs for the rest of their lives. There was plenty of evidence of terrible side effects."

Westberg further says,"Another question: Once a person is on psychiatric medications, they are often cautioned not to stop taking them – and if they do quit, sure enough, symptoms return. Doesn’t this prove they needed the drugs? Actually, says Whitaker, it may simply prove that the drugs have withdrawal symptoms. Since psychiatric medications affect the brain, it makes sense that withdrawal affects the brain, with symptoms that can resemble the original illness."

This past week:

I meditated 5 minutes each morning to a compact disc of "OM".

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10 hrs
• exercise: walking, bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, ate four meals a day
• weight: 159 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Recovery, defined in two blogs

Phillip Dawdy, in Furious Seasons blog, says that the main thing one must do to achieve recovery is to accept one's diagnosis. He says, "The biggest thing you've go to do is accept your diagnosis (and this comes from someone who has issues with some of the diagnoses and diagnosticians), or you are going to be wrestling with yourself for a long time. It's not worth doing. You know damn well that something is up with you, so what do you intend to do about it?" The next two things he suggests are: "no suicide" and "never give up". After that, he discusses the importance of environment, of not blaming the illness, and of going on as few medicines as possible. Then, he suggests that you must accept "that you'll always have symptoms." After that, he discusses the importance of sleep and exercise.

Read in:

"Slouching towards Recovery" from Furious Seasons blog

Gianna Kali responds in her blog, Beyond Meds. She mainly disagrees with Dawdy's assertion that one must accept their diagnosis.

She says, "So do I still accept my diagnosis. No. And I’ll tell you why. The diagnosis bipolar disorder is a catch-all phrase for a variety of symptom clusters. And it’s a large variety of symptom clusters. Philip says if I don’t accept my diagnosis I will be struggling with myself for a long time. Well I can tell you I struggle with myself less now than I did for the years that I accepted my diagnosis. Since I’ve taken control of my life and chosen to treat my illness as I choose to I’ve become self-empowered. As much as I’ve become self-empowered, I struggle less."

Kali's response in: "What is Recovery?" from Beyond Meds blog

As for myself, I have not ever accepted the diagnosis, "schizophrenia". (At one point, I was also given the label, "schizoaffective".) I do, sometimes, feel that there is a problem with this, in that I am not accepting what is generally granted to be "reality", the accepted by society opinion of trained doctors. I do not believe that there is a problem that has to do with what is called "insight into the illness", generally meaning, the patient accepts the diagnosis. But, more, really, a problem with accepting the perceived "reality". That said, I do not believe that I am "schizophrenic". I do not identify with the label of "schizophrenia". However, as is obvious in this blog, I will use the term, "schizophrenia".

And, further, I have questions as to whether "schizophrenia" actually exists or is the result of abuse previously directed at an individual which reveals itself in what are seen as "symptoms". Does trauma always cause these symptoms? It remains unknown at this point.

I do identify with what Gianna Kali says about not accepting the label, the diagnosis. Not accepting can be empowering, as one faces oneself not as the label.

nutrition and life advice

Dr. Susan Lord gives nutrition advice and life advice in this podcast from Kripalu:

Kripalu podcasts -- see Dr. Susan Lord

Towards the end of the podcast, Lord recommends each day to do something nice for yourself, however small; something nice for someone else; and, to be grateful.

what is thought to cause hallucinations

from The Brain Series by Charlie Rose, Episode 5, The Developing Brain:

Stephen Warren of Emory University says at the end of the program: "I think that if we could figure out how genes influence, say, schizophrenia... How do you generate a hallucination because you have a mutation in some genes? I mean, that's a profound progress from a simple gene and a protein and a synapse to a circuit that's somehow recreating experience that occurred earlier."

This quote reveals that there is currently no awareness as to how a gene can influence schizophrenia. It also reveals that the current idea is that a "mutation in some genes" causes hallucinations, which are considered the recreation of previous experience.

depression linked to dementia, Brain Video 4

In Beyond Meds, by Gianna Kali, Gianna suggests that this study could be flawed due to the research subjects having been medicated. Though there is no indication in the article whether they were medicated or not, I think she raises a valid point. Most probably, they were medicated, as most deemed "depressed" today, and for the past twenty to twenty-five years have been.

The article:

depression may double dementia risk

Gianna says that there is a possibility that the medications are causing dementia.

An interesting topic to research, the conclusions of this research could lead one, perhaps, to become medicated young for depression. This is a reason to recognise that medications, not just depression, could be contributing to dementia.

_________________________________________________

Brain Video -- Mental Illness:

"Society has stigmatised mental illness for thousands of years," says Charlie Rose at the beginning of this video.

Depression, Manic-Depression, and Schizophrenia affect the way people think, feel, and their motivation.

"Schizophrenia typically begins in college or the early twenties," Eric Kandel states.

Though Hippocrates suggested that mind disorders were medical in nature, it was not until the early 1800's at the Paris School of Medicine that Philippe Pinel called the disorders medical disorders. During the Middle Ages and the Renaissance the disorders were considered demons.

In 1902, Emil Kraeplin's textbooks begin to appear. He defines mental illnesses as those affecting mood and thinking. "...Dementia praecox [Kraeplin defines as a] deterioration of cognitive processes in the brain," says Eric Kandel. Dementia praecox, as stated earlier in this blog, is a precursor of what is later called schizophrenia.

In schizophrenia, there are positive symptoms (hallucinations, delusions), negative symptoms (social withdrawal, lack of motivation), and cognitive symptoms (difficulty organising one's life, short term memory loss).

Speaking of a biological basis for the disorders: "The approach to biology came from chemistry," admits Helen Mayberg. She further says, of the medicines' effect, "That really created the foundation for the hypothesis that these were deficits in neurotransmitters." (She refers to depression.) Hypothesis. A hypothesis.

Mayberg did find "a biological marker, an area in the brain that was abnormally active in depressed patients," reports Kandel.

See Brain Video 4:

brain series, charlie rose, episode 9

In Brain Video 4, a psychotic episode is described as "horrible pain, a waking nightmare", by Ellyn Saks, who is diagnosed with schizophrenia and wrote The Center Cannot Hold, a memoir of schizophrenia.

"We know genetics plays a role by looking at family histories," Stephen Warren shows in a graph. In analysing the graph, "...there's other factors playing a role like environmental factors," Warren says.

Speaking of schizophrenia, "...the seeds for the illness are really sown in early development...,"
says Jeffrey Lieberman. In schizophrenia, "stresses cause a dysfunction of the normal circuits," Lieberman states.

In schizophrenia, the hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, and striatum are said to be affected.

Speaking of therapy for these three disorders, Kandel says, "Psychotherapy works on the brain...It's like a biological treatment."

Ellyn Saks reveals that, for her, psychodynamic thereapy (psychoanalysis) helps. It helps you to identify and cope with stressors, develop an observing ego, and deal with the blow of having a mental illness, Saks suggests.

Unfortunately, Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) is suggested here as the best therapy for depression by Helen Mayberg. She also discusses Deep Brain (electrical) Stimulation for depression. Deep Brain Stimulation is said here to have possibilities for schizophrenia, as well.

These brain diseases are called "the most complicated in medicine" by Eric Kandel.


This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 9 hrs
• exercise: walking, bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, ate four meals a day
• weight: 156 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Daniel J Carlat

Daniel J Carlat, a psychiatrist, speaks of the lack of psychotherapy in his profession.

"Medications don't do a good job of solving basic life problems," Carlat states.

Carlat also speaks of payoffs for psychiatrists for pushing certain medications on patients. He speaks, specifically, of Effexor and Neurontin.

Carlat further tells of "The reality that...since we don't have objective criteria, we don't have a blood test, we don't have x-rays to make a diagnosis, we use these symptoms..."

See video speech and questions:

daniel j carlat, "The Trouble With Psychiatry"

Towards the end of his speech, he says that, regardless of country,"...there's an often cited 1% prevalence of schizophrenia...implying that maybe it's a biological disorder." Implying. Maybe.

Schizophrenia has not been proven to be a biological disorder.

Carlat concludes saying, "We do overmedicate...We haven't tried a different strategy, which is to wean people off the medications, because we haven't been trained to do that."


More, from NPR, an interview with Daniel J. Carlat and excerpts from his book:


daniel j carlat and excerpts from his Unhinged

Carlat discusses the fact that theories of the neurobiology of mental illness are just that, theories. Nothing has been proven regarding a relation to mental illnesses. Though Carlat reveals his feeling that there is a relation to neurotransmitters, he admits that even "the APA textbook authors, utterly unable to tie together these disparate findings, concluded that the 'central question of what variables drive the pathophysiology of mood disorders remains unanswered.' "

Brain Video 3

The Emotional Brain is discussed in this video.

"...emotions are a family of subjective experiences, states of readiness, that we all experience...," says Eric Kandel.

"...[Positive emotion is] disturbed in schizophrenia, Parkinson's disease...," he says further. Here Kandel does call schizophrenia a disease. He then discusses addiction and addictive drugs.

brain series, charlie rose, episode 7

"Now, emotion, of course, needs to be regulated...," says Daniel Salzman. That is done in the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain said to be affected by schizophrenia).

"Cognition has been traditionally located in the prefrontal cortex," Nora Volkow states.

Dopamine is said to be too present in schizophrenia, though this has not been proven. Wolfram Schultz defines dopamine as "...a chemical that serves as a neurotransmitter..."

Nicotine replacement is also slightly discussed in the discussion of addiction, as well as the effect of nicotine on the brain.

Brain Video 2

The Social Brain: the social skills that separate humans from other species.

Darwin, autism, and the social brain are covered in this video.

"...emotion is an important feature of behaviour," says Eric Kandel.

brain series, charlie rose, episode 4

"...the inward nature of some people with schizophrenia" is mentioned by Gerald Fischbach, and compared by him to autism.

Schizophrenia here is also called a "disorder" rather than a disease by Eric Kandel.

labelling

This describes what the labels cause one to feel:

From Beyond Meds by Gianna Kali:

labelling

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 9 hrs
• exercise: some walking, bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, four meals a day
• weight: 159 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

titrating down slowly, "morbidity" words

Here is what is coming (is here):

computer programs to detect depression in blogs (writing)

Watch out for "morbidity" words!


from above article:

"Words like "black" combined with other terms that describe symptoms of depression, such as sleep deprivation or loneliness, will be recognized by the software as "depressive" texts."



Are there such things as "morbidity" words indicating someone wants to die? I do not believe that words will tell.

______________________________________________

I am smoking cigarettes. On medicine, I have to titrate down more slowly. I tried decreasing by 5 mg. I will have to decrease by 2.5 mg or less. I plan to decrease by 2.5 mg at this point. I will wait.

Last week I received in an email from a friend with an attachment, dopamine in sound. I tried dopamine in sound. It worked. I tried it all days but one. Dopamine in sound caused me to be more calm, less sad, and the same or more happy. I listened to dopamine in sound in the morning. I listened to dopamine in sound in the evening. I plan to listen to dopamine in sound before bed every day. Would this only be the future! No side effects: dopamine in sound. No early mortality: dopamine in sound. Dopamine in sound is copyrighted, so I am not allowed to share it with you. I will recommend when dopamine in sound is available.



This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 9 hrs
• exercise: some walking, bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, four meals a day
• weight: 158 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

love

love hurts

Brain Video

Started smoking again last Sunday. Am attempting to stop again today.

brain series, charlie rose, episode 1

Schizophrenia is mentioned a few times in this episode of The Brain Series with Charlie Rose. At one point, Eric Kandel says, "Schizophrenics don't organise their lives." He states that there is a problem in the frontal cortex.

Previous to this, in the video, another researcher suggests that in the future, schizophrenia will be stopped in the brain.

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10 hrs
• exercise: none
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, attempting to reach 35% fat, 15% protein, 50% carbs, counting calories at www.caloriecount.com
• weight: 160 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

smokers with schizophrenia

I have started using earplugs before I go to sleep to block out the voices when I awaken in the morning. It is working!

I stopped smoking on Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 1 p.m.

disabled smokers

In the blog post above, it is stated that 90% of those with schizophrenia smoke cigarettes. There are many potential reasons for this.

I even read one study (since lost) and heard of another that suggest that smoking cigarettes could be a cause of schizophrenia.

causes of schizophrenia

I believe that there are "societal pressures" on those who smoke cigarettes in ussa, not on those who do not smoke cigarettes, at this point. Those "societal pressures" can lead to shunning people which can lead to problems.

Here is another blog post that suggests reasons why those with schizophrenia have such a high rate of smoking cigarettes:

schizophrenia and smoking

I have read Stop Smoking Naturally by Martha Work Adelman. I also read Positively Quit Manual by Cassius Cheong.

I was tired of looking at smoke. I did not really like to hold a cigarette. I mostly liked the taste of smoking. I also used smoking to deal with difficult (for me) emotions or situations. I stopped smoking without stop smoking aids or medications.

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10 hrs
• exercise: walked three days, situps and pushups, stair running, bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, attempting to reach 35% fat, 15% protein, 50% carbs, counting calories at www.caloriecount.com,
• weight: 156 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Blog Against Disablism

I really screwed up on Blog Against Disablism Day (BADD).

Scope defines disablism as "discriminatory, oppressive or abusive behaviour arising from the belief that disabled people are inferior to others".

I believe that my original post on BADD could be considered an example of disablism. I am concerned about that, but originally misread the Day and thought it to be Blog About Disabilities.

So, I apologise if it indicates disablism. Part of what I wrote is indicative of my experience of disablism. Being on disability, in my family of origin, was insisted upon, then angered them.


This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10 hrs
• exercise: walked four days, situps and pushups, stair running, days bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, attempting to reach 35% fat, 15% protein, 50% carbs, counting calories at www.caloriecount.com,
• weight: 160 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Disablity and Schizophrenia

Today is a day to "Blog Against Disablism" or "Blog About Disabilities." So, I signed up to blog about my disability. I have yet to refer to the diagnosis of schizophrenia as a disability on my blog. But, it is. I am currently on disability, which is my sole income or my "allowance." I did not want to go on disability. My mother forced me to sign the papers she wrote up. I still wanted to work. I continued to work, part time, as many hours as allowed by the disability payments. It is very hard to get off of disability. Your employer must also be informed that you were on disability in order to get off of it. At this point, I do not have plans to go off of the disability payments. I paid in when I worked. Now, I get the insurance payment for what I paid in to Social Security. Still, it is a shame that disability is so scorned and also provides such a small payment. The payment puts one well beneath poverty level, allowing very little room for extra income. I would like eventually to go off of the Social Security, to once again work a full-time job. That takes a lot of time, getting off of Social Security.

I have yet to mention the disability, the diagnosis of schizophrenia that got me to forced disability payments. I was off of work for three and a half months when the diagnosis of schizophrenia was forced on me. I had stopped working at the end of November. I was diagnosed in the middle of March. Whether a person is working or not is one of the considerations in the making of a diagnosis, according to the DSM, quoted below, though a social worker once told me that whether one works or not is not a consideration. Confusing!

The medicines I was put on made me hallucinate, actually gave me the symptoms of schizophrenia which I was diagnosed with having after 1-2 brief interviews with a nurse and a psychiatrist, in a hospital. This is not the first time that that has happened. Widely reported is the cause of symptoms of schizophrenia from the neuroleptics intended to help the supposed problem.

I am officially disabled now. The diagnosis disables a person. However, I believe that when my mother put me on disability payments, she disabled me extremely. They are so difficult to escape once a person is on them.

I got a new bicycle. We began bicycling this week for exercise and pleasure. Bicycling is fun!

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 9 hrs
• exercise: walked every day but two, situps and pushups, stair running, 2 days bicycling
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, began to count calories at www.caloriecount.com
• weight: 161 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Hearing Voices Interview

Here is a radio interview on Madness Radio with Jacqui Dillon, who heard voices since childhood after growing up with child sexual abuse:

Madness Radio: Hearing Voices Network, Jacqui Dillon

Jacqui was told by psychiatrists that the child sexual abuse she experienced was a part of her "delusion" in 1993. She later found help from someone who believed what happened to her. She said, also, that some psychiatrists will accept that child sexual abuse has occurred, but say that "that is in your past, now deal with your mental illness."

She later talks about anger. She says that anger is "protective and sets a boundary."

She, along with others, "questions the idea that hearing voices is an illness." She considers medicine to "silence people." She said, "I don't think of voices as symptoms."

Compassion, acceptance, learning to live with the voices, and learning "distraction techniques" can help people who hear voices. She also suggests, later, asking the voices direct questions.

Dillon also mentions that "there are a lot of places in the world where schizophrenia does not exist." She is working to "abolish the schizophrenia label." Academics, clinicians, activists, carers, families, and friends are working to abolish the label because it is not scientific. You can learn more about this at Campaign to Abolish the Schizophrenia Label.

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 12 hrs
• exercise: walked every day but two, situps and pushups
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, began to count calories
• weight: 158 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

happiness

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier

I found this quote in Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I am trying to live it. I believe it true that happiness can only be found within each of us. While it is not easy to live finding happiness only in ourselves, it is possible, with time and practice. As I deal with what happened to me as a result of psychiatric hospitalisations, I find that I am more able to find happiness within myself, releasing the memories of what was done to me. I am a happy person, generally, but the hospitalisations and the voices (the result of years of neuroleptics) really got to me. I am still dealing with the memory of those things. I will continue to tell of those experiences in future posts. I remain attempting to find happiness within. I plan to pursue this further with a return to meditating in June. I am currently collecting info on meditation. I will begin with 5 minutes of meditation a day.

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 11 hrs
• exercise: walked every day but one
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day
• weight: 154 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Aripiprazole Side Effects

Side effects of Aripiprazole include dizziness, headaches, nausea, diabetes, tardive dyskenesia, akathisia, heart disease, cardiac arrest, vomiting, etcetera. I have had dizziness, headaches, nausea, and tardive diskenesia. As a result of these side effects, I have decided to decrease Aripiprazole by 5 mg. every two months or so, depending on how I am feeling/doing. I will review how I am doing to decrease to 10 mg. a day (5 mg. a.m., 5 mg. p.m.) on June 1.

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 12 hrs
• exercise: walked (farther than last week) every day but two, 20 situps, 10 pushups
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day
• weight: 154 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising

Diagnosis Flawed

This week I stopped smoking cigarettes while drinking coffee. I finished reading Codependent No More (after doing the work in the back of the chapters). I started reading Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Here is the definition of schizophrenia:

"According to the revised fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, three diagnostic criteria must be met:^[4]

1. Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
   • Delusions
   • Hallucinations
   • Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder
   • Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior
   • Negative symptoms: Blunted affect (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation)

   If the delusions are judged to be bizarre, or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other, only that symptom is required above. The speech disorganization criterion is only met if it is severe enough to substantially impair communication.

2. Social/occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset.
3. Duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).

If signs of disturbance are present for more than a month but less than six months, the diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder is applied.^[4] Psychotic symptoms lasting less than a month may be diagnosed as brief psychotic disorder, and various conditions may be classed as psychotic disorder not otherwise specified." --Wikipedia, March, 2010

At least one of the threee criteria for diagnosing schizophrenia was not met when I was diagnosed in March, 1996. Thus, the diagnosis itself is flawed.

I did not show "continuous signs of the disturbance [persisting] for at least six months." I remember being fine on New Year's Eve, when we celebrated with friends. I went home early in the morning to sleep rather than continuing to celebrate with the friends at the casino. So, there could not have been "continuous signs" for as long as required (six months). I was fine on January 1, 1996. I showed no symptoms whatsoever.

My situation was not taken into account. When I arrived at the hospital I told the admitting nurse that I was suffering from PTSD. This was not taken into account at all. Perhaps me saying that was misread as a "delusion". Perhaps the admitting nurse had never heard of PTSD and I had to say Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as I later thought. That was not considered whatsoever, as she forced me into a hospital gown and onto a metal bed under straps for what must have been over twelve to fourteen hours (the entirety of the night). The pain I experienced on that metal bed under straps is difficult to describe.

There was a camera on the ceiling, filming, I suppose, me on the metal bed under straps at my wrists and ankles. I had nothing on under a hospital gown. I could barely move at all for all of those hours. The pain I felt was huge during those hours, fourteen hours or so, I estimate.

I felt as if there were a noose around my neck. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move or escape. It was torture, pure torture, with no reason to it. I did nothing that warranted that torture.

I was later told that one has to be "a danger to her/himself or others" to be forced into a psychiatric hospital. I was neither when I was forced into one. I was not suicidal nor a threat to anyone.

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 10.6 hrs
• exercise: walked (farther than last week) every day but one
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day
• weight: 153 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising