happiness

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier

I found this quote in Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I am trying to live it. I believe it true that happiness can only be found within each of us. While it is not easy to live finding happiness only in ourselves, it is possible, with time and practice. As I deal with what happened to me as a result of psychiatric hospitalisations, I find that I am more able to find happiness within myself, releasing the memories of what was done to me. I am a happy person, generally, but the hospitalisations and the voices (the result of years of neuroleptics) really got to me. I am still dealing with the memory of those things. I will continue to tell of those experiences in future posts. I remain attempting to find happiness within. I plan to pursue this further with a return to meditating in June. I am currently collecting info on meditation. I will begin with 5 minutes of meditation a day.

This past week:

• medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  
• sleep: average 11 hrs
• exercise: walked every day but one
• diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day
• weight: 154 lbs.
• mood: ok all mornings upon rising