Wednesday, September 29, 2010

a lifelong vigilance

(Narrated by David Carradine)

-----------------the Spirit-------------------------

spirit possessed

"What is real to the Aimara is often invisible."

"Malignant forces - can cause crop failure" to the Aimara.

"...and spirit possessions [are] accepted among the Aimara."

Of one Aimara man, 'twas said, "...but he became possessed when he couldn't prevent
weariness. Weariness overcame his lifelong vigilance."

I had a lifelong vigilance which was interrupted in 1996, March, on a friday.
I was not suicidal. I had never attempted suicide. I was not a "danger to myself or others."
I was not weary.

One Aimara man had "...repeated threats of suicide..." He couldn't sleep.

He later said, "This business of going 'crazy' is a bad thing."

I had slept. I was not tired. I was not a "danger to myself and others."

I was told by six representatives of an organisation and two former employers that I was "a danger to myself or others."

Monday, September 27, 2010

from (a blog) from the New Yorker:

from (a blog) "Words That Drive Me Crazy" from the New Yorker:

"Words that make me 'scream in pain' are:

I do not have time to find again (a blog) to credit writer.))


A word and a phrase that make me 'scream in pain' and 'drive me crazy' include:
'scream in pain'

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

from wildflowers movement: "...gifted children or adults..."

I started with what was termed a "depression" by a (phobia) psychologist. I wondered later if untreated "depression" could result in schizophrenia. Having read, I realise that this is not so. I am explaining this elsewhere.

I am posting this, partly, for a friend with a child diagnosed "Bi-Polar" when he was younger than ten. The child is considered 'gifted and talented' in school and at home. Though I offered, rather recently, this blog to her family, I did not know how to discuss anything related to her child's diagnosis with her. Here is a mild attempt to do that, now that I decided, as a blogger to address the growing diagnoses of children.

The blog beneath states: "...existential depression or learning disability, when present in gifted children or adults, requires a different approach because new dimensions are added by the giftedness component."

I am currently discovering that what was considered a "depression" by a psychologist (treatable without medications) could have been existential sorrow or melancholia over the loss of love and the loss of the love of my best friend. (at the same time)

My family of origin's responses are usually to "barge in" when there was a request to not "barge in" or to "pull back" when there was an attempt at communication. This is extreme, this is rude.

I was older than ten (a 'tenner') when this happened to me. This was the beginning of my recorded conversation with psychologists (which was, back then, quite distinct from psychiatry). Unfortunately, I have noticed, no more.

Gifted and talented children... the mis-diagnoses

Please look into this entire blog, the posts beneath this one are beautifully written and insightful..

Sunday, September 19, 2010

important news: Joaquin Phoenix does not have schizophrenia!

This is a great story about how badly someone who has schizophrenia is treated.

Joaquin Phoenix decided to act. He acted. He played guitar until he could play in film. He acted, acted, acted. He played guitar in film. He dressed up in film.

Then, for some reason, he decided to act while singing 'rap music'. (I am not certain if the 'rap music' is/was called 'rap music' by Joaquin Phoenix, but it's good.) He wore a beard and a moustache. He was angry at fans and photographers (perhaps).

writer says Letterman knew Phoenix was faking

He went on the David Letterman show, as an actor, acting (he acted as an actor, as a guest, as a guest actor, as a very beautiful "ruse".)

Joaquin Phoenix does not have schizophrenia!!


testify, please

testify (by rage against the machine)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

a cold

I have a cold. I will post next week. Too busy with a cold.
No this past week this week.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

neuroleptics and antidepressants: abnormal dreams

"The medicine (drugs) can even [cause] abnormal dreams."
--Robert Whitaker

I have/had since the medicine many abnormal dreams. I do not want or care to discuss them. I can tell my husband, if I want.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

autistic children and those with "other developmental disorders"

Autistic children are going to be given "functional connectivity 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s, along with children with "some other developmental disorders." What are the "other developmental disorders"? I am uncertain.

"Certain connections in the brain get stronger over time; "others are pruned away", according to researchers (psychologist researchers).
A "brain age scale" has been created from 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI) brain scans of two hundred "normal people" with "typical" brain connections.
The research is said to show connections in the "brains of children with autism are [a bit] weaker than in typical children", a psychologist researcher said.
These scans will be used to test "brain networks" in infants "to spot signs of trouble".

determining 'brain age' with a simple scan

I think that these will probably be used more in infants. I think that if they are used after medicines, a good idea is to give a 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI) before medicines.

As of now, 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI) has been used after medicines, so there are not comparisons of the brains of one with "schizophrenia" before medicines. The medicines change bodies, blood, brains. How do we know what the brain of one with "schizophrenia" looks like, really, since there are only 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s after the medicines are given. The medicines change brains, blood, and bodies. Can the 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s be given before the medicines are given, to show that one has "autism", "schizophrenia", "manic depression (bipolar)", and "other developmental disorders"?

This makes more sense, I beleive, because after the medicines given to those who are not given 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s there is not any way to tell if there was a person with "autism", "schizophrenia", "manic depression (bipolar)", and "other developmental disorders" (including "depression" (unipolar), "schizoaffective disorder", and, what others?).
Once the medicines are given, the 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s show the damage done by medicine; certainly, there are changes in blood, bodies, and brains.

When a 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI) shows that a person has "autism", "schizophrenia", "manic depression (bipolar)" or "other developmental disorders", is it showing the effect and/or impact of the medicines on the brains, bodies, and blood of those already given medicine? I think so.

Often, certainly sometimes, a person has been said to have "schizophrenia" only after death and a lifetime (usually from the "tens" (10-19)) of medicines. How can we know that the brain studies show "schizophrenia" when the medicines cause so many changes in bodies, brains, and blood.

Remember the identical twin studies. Even understanding that the medicines cause many brain, body, and blood changes: less than 48% of identical twins both have "schizophrenia". I think, genes in identical twins are mainly or mostly identical. How can "schizophrenia" be a genetic disorder if this is true? Less than 48% of identical twins both have "schizophrenia".

Why don't we give 'magnetic resonance imaging' (MRI)'s to children, "tens", and adults before they are put down and "put away"?

[No "this past week" for this past week.]

note: the word "schizophrenia" and the 'disease' "schizophrenia are only one hundred years old. the word "teenager" is less than one hundred years old (i call them "tens".)

Happy Rosh Hashonah!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Part I - Robert Whitaker on Madness Radio

For schizophrenia, Robert Whitaker said, "40% of those off drugs are recovered after five years; 5% of those on drugs are recovered after five years." (on Madness Radio)

I believe this research. What is called "schizophrenia" (for the last hundred years only) is not assisted by medicine (the drugs).

"Once you are on the drugs, there's a pretty high chance you'll relapse. ", said Robert Whitaker on Madness Radio.

"That relapse rate is greatly increased by the fact that the drugs change their brain" -- R.W.

Are the changes in the brain shown in colour photos of those with "schizophrenia" caused by "schizophrenia" or the medicine (the drugs)?

"How is it working for society as a whole?
It's not."
-- Robert Whitaker

Who profits? Not patients. Investors.

"From science's point of view
exposure to drugs [antidepressants]
doubled the risk of chronic illness."

Someone I know also became labelled manic-depressive (bipolar) only after on antidepressants. This is very common, according to Robert Whitaker.

"In psychiatry almost all [are] on advisory boards, consultants to pharma..."

Robert Whitaker said that "...drugs [can be] used as tools in thoughtful ways." There must be "honest research, honest reports," informed decisions, and "weigh[ed] benefits."

Who benefits, really? Who profits.

Madness Radio, Sane Medication Policy, Robert Whitaker

Aripiprazole on vacation

Aripiprazole (Abilify) has very, very bad side effects that make a vacation difficult. Aripiprazole (Abilify) makes summer or spring or "Indian Summer", even, more difficult and painful, as well. If you sweat on Aripiprazole (Abilify) or are out in hot sun, you could die of a heat stroke.

If you want to drink wine, liquor or beer, even sometimes, Aripiprazole (Abilify) is not for you.

(Odd, coming from an alcoholic family, being someone called a "teetotaler" by them, that that family-of-origin decided to put me on many medicines that do not allow alcoholic drinks.)

Aripiprazole (Abilify) can make a person very sedated (or groggy), as well.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Risperdal (Risperedone) causes problems

I was put on Risperdal (Risperedone) without being told that Risperdal (Risperedone) causes, often, a woman's menstrual cycle to disappear.

My husband and I believed that I was pregnant. We wasted a month to a month and a half finding a doctor to tell us otherwise. Only then did my then psychiatrist inform us that he knew all along that Risperdal (Risperedone) causes, often, a woman's menstrual cycle to disappear.

My friend thought for months, even a year, that she was already in menopause, though she was fairly young. Only when we spoke of our desire(s) for children did we find that she, too, was losing her menstrual cycle to Risperdal (Risperedone).

Now, Risperdal (Risperedone) is given to children; Risperdal (Risperedone) causes drooling, sedation, weight gain, and an "altered personality".


Child's Ordeal Shows Risks of Psychosis Drugs for Young

Is Risperdal (Risperedone) a form of sterilisation for women? I believe mental hospitalisations are.

I gained a little weight while on vacation. Still on 15 mg Aripiprazole (Abilify). Aripiprazole made our vacation much, much more difficult. I will explain why in future.

This past week:
  • medication: 5 mg Aripiprazole a.m., 10 mg Aripiprazole before sleep
  • sleep: average (on vacation, unknown)
  • exercise: walking, swimming, bicycling
  • diet: made certain to eat breakfast every day, ate four meals a day
  • weight: 160 lbs.
  • mood: ok all mornings upon rising